Monthly Archive: April 2011

5

Dear Jonny, What About You?

Dear Jonny, Judging by your writing you seem like a smart guy. Looking at your pictures you appear to be, by superficial societal standards, a tattooed meat head. Clearly these two personas are at...

4

Dear Jonny, Eating Sweets…

Dear Jonny, I am an athlete. I run, I lift, and generally I watch what I eat pretty closely. However, I have a problem. I have a terrible sweet tooth. I read somewhere that...

5

Dear Jonny, Whoring Around?

Dear Jonny, I have been in a committed relationship for over a year and a half. The girl is cool, she is sort of stupid, but she’s nice and the sex is great. The...

9

Dear Jonny, Ever Been Knocked Out?

Dear Jonny, Have you ever been knocked out? If so, by whom? If not, have you ever been close? – Tyson   Dear Tyson, There have been a couple of occasions on which I...

5

How To Trick A Woman Into Loving You

Every once in a while a man winds up with the sort of especially unpleasant woman who, for whatever multitude of reasons, deserves to be manipulated into believing that he loves her – when,...

3

Dear Jonny, Sum Up The Matter?

Dear Jonny, I just finished a fourteen page sociology paper on the causes behind modern man’s increased depression and decreased intelligence. I make some slick points at times yet I think I may have...

2

Dear Jonny, Hormones?

Dear Jonny, I see all these crazy new prohormones and prosteroids at supplement stores and online. Have you tried any of them? If so, results? Are they safe? – Trey   Dear Trey, I...

4

Dear Jonny, Problems In The Bedroom

Dear Jonny, My fiance has always been honest and straightforward with me about his desire for sadomasochistic games/role playing. I’ve tried my best to accommodate him, I really have, but that stuff just isn’t...

5

Dear Jonny, Extreme Eating?

Dear Jonny, I very much liked the “Dear Jonny” in which you discussed your acquaintance who lived on nothing but meat for some years. Surely you must have been on some extreme diets yourself....

5

Dear Jonny, Wanna Fight?

Dear Jonny, I used to come into that club you bounced at. You and those other bouncers were fucking dicks. How would you feel about fighting and putting the video on your website? You’re...

8

Hitchhiker’s Infinity

The hitchhiker treaded alongside a remote stretch of highway while running his fingers across the blood-caked box knife in the pocket of his greasy denim jacket. The moon, partially obstructed by clouds, shone like...

4

Dear Jonny, Fucking Upsetting Girlfriend…

Dear Jonny, My girlfriend has been talking a lot about certain ex boyfriends and how much better they were at sex. She does this right after we’ve done the deed, which is kind of...

3

Dear Jonny, Rock Bottom…

Dear Jonny, Things are pretty fucking bad. I’ve damn near hit bottom. I’d go into it, but my situation is not anything that advice from someone else will help. But maybe you can make...

4

Dear Jonny, Vitamin C?

Dear Jonny, An old acquaintance of mine is a self-proclaimed health expert who claims that he hasn’t had any colds in twenty years as a result of his consuming 30 grams of vitamin c...

5

Dear Jonny, The Most Remarkable Diet?

Dear Jonny, What is the most remarkable diet you’ve seen someone follow? – April   Dear April, I knew a very well-educated, logical guy who, after spending thousands upon thousands of hours studying nutrition,...

7

Predators: Exposing The Prey

In response to my article “Predators: Brody versus Arnie,” I received the following message: 2Shy says: April 3, 2011 at 5:35 am “I could not disagree more! The Brody vs Arnie dispute is in...

5

Dear Jonny, Government Shutdown?

Dear Jonny, What do you think of the government shutdown? It would be nice if you’d discuss politics more often. – Kenny   Dear Kenny, I don’t think much of it. As for my...