Monthly Archive: August 2012

7

Out Of The Depths

On August 12, 2000, a quantity of highly concentrated Hydrogen peroxide leaked from a poorly wielded torpedo, making contact with an unknown amount of rust. The result: Several explosions with the combined equivalent force...

9

Life Is Hell

A Nevada state trooper of fifteen years eases his newly detailed cruiser off a stretch of lonely, moonlit highway, coming to a halt on the dusty shoulder of Interstate 15. He is tense and...

8

Dear Jonny, We Beg For Your Advice…

Dear Jonny, Answer some (more) questions… – Readers Dear Readers, “You don’t have my IP address, so don’t even pretend that you do. You’re dead, motherfucker, You won’t even see it coming.” – I...

12

Sick Burn

I recently received the following message: August 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm Mandy says: “Let me explain something to you, you godawful human being. My boyfriend seems to think that you’re some sort of...

10

Observations On A Rainy Day

1. An offensively attractive single woman showcasing every last nuance of her nipples while promenading through a grocery store in a rain-soaked blouse, wouldn’t know how to react if you approached her with your...

11

A Greater Pain

Some weeks ago, while drunkenly chasing my hellion of a cat, Hellwood, I stubbed my toe, quite horribly, on a door jamb. The pain was immediate, excruciating, and, above all else, extraordinarily annoying. Without...

11

The Armchair Expert Olympics

The Olympics provides us with an opportunity to observe many of earth’s finest athletes scoff at the physical limitations of mere mortals while battling for honor and glory, both individually and for their countries....