Monthly Archive: September 2012

8

Starring The Disturbed Badass And The Promiscuous Blonde‏

Promiscuous Blond: “Let’s fuck.” Disturbed Badass: “You’re a wholly artificial, despicably diseased, predictable, shallow, boorish, uneducated, unworldly, uncivilized, uncouth, and unacceptably mean-spirited excuse for a pathetically putrid dumpster whore. I detest you, your ceaseless...

11

My Bicycle Has A Motor

My name is Dick. I’m forty-five years old, married with two children, work as a regional manager for a telemarketing company, and have a gargantuan protruding stomach. My interests include Bud Light, nachos, Tiger...

10

Cyber Sluts

Recently, while I’ve been Googling things such as “Nymphomaniac Asian midgets with infected fingernail fetishes,” my computer has fallen victim to copious amounts of popups in the form of messages which are supposedly sent...

9

9/11: Remember Their Pain

Over the course of the last few days I’ve heard numerous people regurgitate the idea that weighing too heavily on the morbid nature of 9/11 in some way prevents us from moving forward as...

5

Dear Jonny, We’re Being Pussies…

Dear Jonny, Answer some (more) questions… – Readers Dear Readers, “What do I do about the painful blisters and unsightly calluses forming on my hands as a result of the new gym routine I’m...