The Asshole Equation: Why Women Want What They Want

25 Responses

  1. anton, aka sputnik, aka scammer, aka XOBOT says:

    Teenage to early 20s motorcycle bitches, strippers and trailer park hoes addicted to meth want assholes as their ‘baby daddies’ but the new age intelligent, don’t take shit from no guy confident women tend to opt the new witty metrosexual well-rounded guys as their mates, but honestly women, like men are too different to generalize about and hence shouldnt be….

    • Jon says:

      Greetings and salutations, Scammer. I disagree. While there are certainly a number of inherently lower class women (strippers, “trailer park hoes”, etc) who share a proclivity for assholes, I have both been acquainted with and dated numerous ultra-professional ladies who were self-proclaimed asshole junkies. Many of them were intelligent; and most were instilled with confidence. They’re everywhere. Now, I will admit that many modern American women claim to find the “witty metrosexual look” attractive, but that’s only because they’re more comfortable subscribing to cultural trends. To them, it’s chic, cool, and TRENDY to associate with a neo-feminist man who embraces the equality of a woman in a business and home atmosphere, validates her opinions, and dismisses her insecurities, all the while causing him to voluntarily emasculate himself. But much like relationships, trends (yuppies, skaters, emos, metros, etc) come and go. Not only that, but most genuinely witty (wit is a form of intelligence – a characteristic of a well-rounded alpha male) guys I know are also complete sarcastic assholes. And most of them get laid regularly. In addition, I’ve known more than a few superficially classy chicks who made a point to sleep with large, intimidating fighters, while their “cultured” metro boyfriends were at the local spa, getting mani-pedis.

  2. Willy Rayz says:

    Dear Jon,

    Fun stuff. I don’t completely disagree, but I have recently observed the “alpha” male constituting other types of men. The “assholes” are not always “alpha males” even if their personality suggests it. I have seen nice, nerdy, rich men take their place as alpha as they are more capable of handling today’s society (surviving). Your thoughts?…

    • Jon says:

      Hello there, smug prick, sir. Answer: Most alphas are assholes, but many assholes aren’t alpha. In today’s world, many beta males are able to establish a faux alpha status as a by-product of their wealth and – by extension – what it allows them to do (or refrain from doing). The primitive hunt for meat has transformed into the modern pursuit for money. This paves the way for those “nice, nerdy rich men” to achieve a high level of success (trophy wife, powerful friends, respect, etc). Their monetary clout affords them the “luxury” of being able to hold on to nice and nerdy. Without it, they’d be much like every other dateless geek I know. Either way, alpha ain’t part ‘o the equation.

  3. Steve Sharp says:


    Add multimedia. I want to see a lecture series consisting of you giving impassioned rants. I want Angry Jon.

    ~Steve Sharp

    • Jon says:

      One step at a time, Destroyer. But I absolutely agree that I need to fully embrace my progressive HULK SMASH!!-type behaviors.

  4. Steve Sharp says:

    After all, the website does say to listen to Jon.

  5. jenny parker says:

    You are a sad pygmy with no clue how to score a lady without first heavily tranquilizing her with roofies or whatever other date-rape drug is at hand. Take your dated, cheesy, steroid infused bullshit and shove it up your shriveled hard-on.

  6. Jon says:

    Good afternoon. My next posting, “Dissecting Jenny Parker: Why Simple Chicks Hate My Piece On Why Women Like Assholes”, will be dedicated to you. Congratulations, Kiddo. It will be posted tonight.

  7. Justin says:

    Well Nazi, it would appear that i will have to interject some common wisdom. There are two types of men in this world.
    1. Men that women want to marry. These would be the metro/geeky/soft types.
    2. Men that women fuck. Alpha males who cage fight and/or benchpress 500lbs.
    It is your duty and solemn responsibility as a man to choose who and what you will or will not be.

    • Jon says:

      By “want to marry” you must mean “want support from”, because metro/geeky/soft beta male-types are generally much more likely to practice domestically responsible and predictable behaviors than are cage fighters who bench five-hundred pounds. Beta money and alpha sperm.

  8. Billy says:

    I agree. However, do you think you’re an alpha? You may be stronger than some people, but can you wipe your own ass? Moreover, being stronger does not make you a better athlete or mean that your prowess in bed is anything other than befitting a yorkie puppy dog. If you were such a badass, you’d be playing a professional sport. If you were as smart as you think you are, you would read more books and spend less time on your muscularity and tattoos. See, your Dad. Instead, you spend the little time you’re not pumping iron putting your subversive homosexual fantasies re doing “beta” males on the internet in self-delusive form. Red hair and freckles being more evolutionarily repugnant than red bull and linux. I think you need to go get another tat; this one should read “Craftsman”, and it should be located across your forehead. Nix that: that might imply that you’ve attained, if only marginally, a level of adaptive ability (use of utilitarian instrumentalities), the only true measure of intelligence, which based on this post, I doubt you possess. Don’t forsake the gray areas; doing so belies the call of your blog.


    Alpha minus or Beta plus, depends on the grading scale.

  9. Jason says:

    I almost completely agree with this. But I think you left a few things out. In general, everything you said, from my experience, is true. Women do want the alpha male to have sex with. But they want a nice, sweet guy to marry. You really don’t see many alpha’s settling down. They are too busy hitting the gym and working on their calves/biceps than to date a woman, fall in love, and marry. Women who sleep with aplha’s are less than females that don’t have respect for themselves enough to keep their legs shut. Yes, there’s the attraction to those type of males for everyone. But when a women gets married it should be for love and if she cheats she’s not worthy of love. Same with a man. A man loves a woman for her heart and her soul, not just for her looks. You completely skipped that part altogether and dumbed the whole blog down to preternatural and lustful instincts. Yes, we all have them, but it’s those of us that rise above them that lead happy, strong marriage lives. When we grow up we don’t go around fucking everyone and everything in site which is what you’re suggesting. This blog is written from an adolescent standpoint. It’s clear that you are very focused on sex and not love. In the sex world, yes this is pretty true. But in the love world, it’s a whole new ball game altogether sir. And if a woman forgets her love for her “less than, beta husband.” Then she is a slut and doesn’t deserve him, his love, or his support.

    • Jon says:

      There is very little “love game” that is not the “sex game.” You need to read “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality,” by anthropologist Christopher Ryan and physician Cacilda Jetha. In their book they argue persuasively that human beings did not evolve in monogamous, nuclear families but rather in groups in which members had many on-going sexual relationships. In short, science now suggests that monogamy, and its obviously flawed basis in “love,” is largely nonsense. As a species, we are polygamous, to put it gently, and, in fact, that behavior has survival value. The nonsensical, Puritanical, imaginary Jewish monotheistic god might dictate otherwise, but his silly “revelations” have no basis in fact. “Get married for love” is rather naive, given that the divorce rate in the United States is above 50% (including both marriage and all other firm commitments) and that only 10% of people married for more than ten years say that they are happy in their relationship. Given the facts of the case, it is YOU who is making adolescent, embarrassingly romantic assumptions about human sexuality. “When we grow up we don’t (go – dumbass) around fucking everyone and everything in site (sight -dumbass)” – but many of us do. To believe otherwise would require someone to be very stupid or to be living in his mother’s basement without access to news concerning the outside world (reality). We’re all potential sluts, and it takes an incredible act of will not to succumb to biologically-determined temptations. In short, you’re an ignorant buffoon – ignorant because you are unaware of the reality of human sexuality, and a buffoon because you think that “love” is something strong enough to control our innate instincts (“lust”).

      • Jason says:

        Wow, you just basically said marriage is nonsense. Do you have any idea the implications of what you’re talking about? Indeed God, the God of everything (Genesis 1:1), not just the Jewish God, ordained marriage. That’s a biblical fact. But without marriage where would we be? Children would have no fathers and society would be completely bankrupt morally and otherwise. You’re honestly suggesting people should just group together and go from one sex partner to another? I mean that’s what you said. You really think that’s what it should be like? That’s the most childish statement I believe I’ve ever heard on the subject. Just so what, you can get laid? Maybe you should cut down on the porn buddy.

        I’m quite aware of people’s actions in society sir. Saying that doesn’t make it ok, nor does it make your point any more true. Are you aware that a whole country hated Jews and nearly wiped them out (Germany)? Was that ok just because that’s everyone was doing at the time? Think about it.

        You correctly said the divorce rate is over 50%, but your reason as to why this is is completely incorrect and nonsense. In fact it makes as much sense as you do. It’s not because marriage is in and of itself a failure sir, oh no, it’s because people share your loose attitude. If people were faithful to one person then there would be far less std’s and far less bastards in the world. Furthermore loose sexual behavior often is accompanied by more loose behavior; such as robbing, stealing, and killing. Many heathens of the past were not monogamous and they also sacrificed virgins and blundered innocent villages killing innocent people and each other. Thank God we aren’t in that time anymore. First it’s marriage that is overthrown, then it’s ok to murder, then it’s ok to do anything. You’re suggesting lawlessness. God implemented marriage for a darn good reason.

        You’re suggesting people should have no morals and basically do what they want in society and that somehow there would be social order within that. Well there is a darn good reason why people who are loose sexually generally hide it. It’s because it’s WRONG, and if everyone acted like that then society would fall apart and no one would work or take care of anything. People would just go around fucking each other.

        People know it’s wrong, that’s why they hide it. If you don’t believe in God, cool, hey that’s your choice. But don’t go around advocating for something that would ruin society. First of all you just look like a person who wants to get laid, second of all you aren’t going to make any impact, because deep down most people know the difference between right and wrong and people aren’t just going to throw off marriage and start sleeping with each other because you wrote a blog. And when they do do that, the end is near, remember that.

        The day when what you’re suggesting comes about, which it will (also according to the Bible),but not because you suggest it, is going to be a day very close to the end of the earth. So you have that to look forward to. Maybe you can be some kind of sex leader then. Then you can play alpha male and get all the hot, big boobed bitches to screw you. Ohhh but guess what, most people at that time will be homosexuals (see Sodom and Gommorah; Luke 17:26-30).

  10. Jon says:

    I tuned you out at “biblical fact,” kiddo. Take your convenient delusions somewhere else. This is the grown-up table.

    • Jason says:

      Awww poor Jon. Can’t argue anymore can you baby? I’m sure I’m lost you many times. It’s hard to keep up when someone isn’t talking straight bullshit. Good luck with the porn pal.

      • Jon says:

        I can argue all day long, but I prefer doing so with someone whose logic is based in reality. Debating with you is akin to discussing the Casimir effect with a lobotomized Forrest Gump after his daily dose of Thorazine. However, your lack of intellectual horsepower, obvious insecurity and amusingly arrogant attitude have earned you the supreme honor of being the next victim in my Bitch Slapped article series (…Look for it soon, kiddo. And have a swell day.

        • Jason says:

          I’m sure that it’s just ME and MY logic right? lol. I’m such an imbecile that you just can’t bear to argue with me. Shucks. ….or maybe you have no argument. And you calling me arrogant is quite the laugh sir. This coming from someone who believes in immorality and free sex to the most cave man like person.

          Please do explain to me how you have bitch slapped me Jon. Seems to me like you’ve avoided any direct confrontation about the subject and have in effect run away calling me names… I wrong?

          • Jon says:

            You’re severely wrong on all fronts (it appears that I’m not the only one who shares this opinion). As I said before, I tuned you out upon seeing the expression “biblical fact.” In my mind, such blatant buffoonery absolutely nullified everything you wrote thereafter. I do not have the time, nor the desire, to debate with people who attempt to defend their backward logic with fairy tales. And while I generally refrain from using ad hominem attacks, in your case I’m more than happy to make an exception. Now, stay tuned, kiddo – the Bitch Slapped article will be up sometime next week.

          • Jon says:

            On second thought, kiddo, I’ve decided that your logical shortcomings aren’t worthy of being showcased on my website. To quote the bible, arguing with you is akin to “casting my pearls before swine.” Now listen, you goofy cretin, as this is the LAST time you’ll be getting one iota of my attention. “Biblical fact” is an oxymoron, unless you mean “it’s a fact that it says that in the Bible”; obviously you are not keeping current with developments in historical-textual criticism and Middle Eastern archaeology. There is no, repeat no, compelling evidence that any of the events or sayings that you are basing your claims on ever took place or were spoken by some imagined god. In short, Jason, you would be wise to contemplate this sad truth: Mythology does not yield willingly to fact. You are living in a world informed by childish fantasies, and I feel sorry for you. Try reading some books based on solid scientific research and equally solid evidence. Maybe then you’ll reach intellectual puberty. Adios.

  11. Mary Jane says:

    This “Jason” is a loud mouthed imbecile who clearly enjoys listening to himself talk way, way too much. You’re right too, Jonny. There’s no point in wasting time arguing with people once it becomes clear that they’re blabbering fools who have somehow convinced themselves that the bullshit they’re spewing is actually intelligent.

  12. Derick says:

    Ha! Ha! I also tuned out this Jason character when he started in with the bible shit. Obviously he retreated into biblical verses and random babbling the moment you demolished his argument with the “love game” comment. I’ve seen his kind before. Can’t wait to read the bitch slapped article!!!

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