Dear Jonny, Dating Trouble For 30-Something Women?
What is it about single women (NOT single mothers) in their early to mid thirties that scares men away? And I’m not talking sex. Any man will have sex. But almost none of them want a real relationship. This is something I have experienced over and over again and I know many other similarly aged women who have experienced the exact same thing (over and over again). Thoughts?
First of all, the mind of an average guy is probably going to think that because a woman is still immersed in the dating process at such an age, there is a strong likelihood she’s malfunctioning on some basic level (sexually, financially, emotionally, etc.). Initially it will be assumed she is jumping from man to man as a consequence of her inability to find one who has a desire for anything other than sex. Red flags go up left and right. Enters the second assumption, which is that men who’ve dated her previously wanted nothing but sex because they saw/felt/understood that something was amiss; something which prevented the relationship from developing any further. Whether or not the man in question can, at that point, identify her [possible] problem area makes little difference. Subconsciously he will have already dismissed the possibility of anything serious, because fundamentally speaking no human being wants to form a long-term relationship with (mate with) someone they view as inherently flawed, for fear of producing unstable offspring. That in and of itself sets a standard which paves the way for a string of sketchy romantic flings that wind up going nowhere. And that, unfortunately, is that.