Dear Jonny, Fear And Personality?
Have you ever been told:
“I can’t talk to you, because I’m afraid of you.”?
I can only assume that you have, so I pose the question:
Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?
Should one aim to change certain aspects of their personality (such as being aggressive, brutally honest, etc) so that they may be more approachable during moments when communication really is necessary?
I haven’t been told that as much as I’ve experienced it from afar. I suppose cultivating an aggressive image tends to distance people who buy into the notion that an intimidating manner and/or exterior is universally synonymous with ‘scary’ behavior. It’s easier – and safer – for said people to altogether avoid conversation than explicitly state they’re just downright afraid to engage in it. As to whether or not keeping them at bay is a good thing, I think it depends on the individual. Introverts who have a tendency toward anti-social behavior may find that frightening people off affords them the opportunity to coast through life with less hassle, while extroverts who have a proclivity to socialization might find it a bit of an obstacle when/if others generally approach them with fearful skepticism. That said, it’s only ‘good’ if one sees it as ultimately beneficial to his lifestyle. When it comes to changing certain aspects of one’s personality in order to increase the chances of bettering communication, I believe that can definitely be a worthwhile pursuit if the end result is success on both sides. It’s a matter of being willing to evolve into someone who can more effectively deal with his surroundings, which is, obviously, much easier for some than others. At the end of the day, some people won’t change. Others believe they can’t. And there are always those who simply don’t give a shit. They don’t change for anybody.