Dear Jonny, Imma Fat Fuck!
So I got this new cougar girlfriend and I’m hoping to drop a few lbs. before I tear into her well kept ass. I’ve been doing sit ups, push ups and running for a couple weeks, but I don’t really notice any difference in the mirror or the scale. I think it has more to do with my diet than my work out. Do you have dieting recommendations or any supplements you trust? or a good workout program? I wouldn’t mind working on building muscle, but it’s more about getting the fat off my gut. I’ll shut up now and listen to Jon.
– Imma fat fuck!
Dear Imma fat fuck!,
Congratulations on snagging some well-kept cougar ass. Two weeks is not really sufficient time for any noticeable physiological changes to take effect, especially if your diet is not in order. I’ve had great success with a modified version of the Paleolithic diet, which entails the consumption of meat, vegetables, nuts, and cheese. The lack of processed/high-glycemic carbohydrates will assist you in dropping weight quite efficiently, while copious amounts of protein and fiber will help build/and or preserve muscle while keeping things moving along. As a pertinent side note, if you’re a beer drinker consider a temporary switch to a low-carb brew, such as Michelob Ultra. Now, there are supplements that will safely expedite the fat loss process, such as ALPHA-T2 by Performance Enhancing Supplements (PES). This is a very solid formulation I’ve used on several occasions when instant gratification was needed. I order from nutraplanet.com; follow label recommendations. As for working out, I suggest that you mix in some strength training with your cardio sessions (which you should, at this point, be doing four times a week for 30-45 minutes at moderate intensity). If you have access to a gym, I think it’s best to forego free weights initially in favor of weight machines, which will help you increase musculature without becoming overly bulky. Consider working your entire upper body twice per week; legs, once. Aim for three exercises per body part, three sets per exercise, and 10 reps per set. That is fine starting point. The cougar will be scratching you up in no time.