Dear Jonny, Impervious To Psychoanalysis?
The guy I just started dating tells me he is impervious to psychoanalysis. I’m a psychology major so I find that very hard to believe, even though he seems to be kind of emotionally inaccessible. I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter.
He’s almost certainly borrowing part of a line from the Martin Scorsese film, “The Departed.” At one point in the movie, Matt Damon’s character, Colin, is having a playful conversation with a psychiatrist he wishes to get into bed, during which she asks him if he knows what Sigmund Freud said about the Irish. Colin looks her square in the eye and replies “What Freud said about the Irish is we’re the only people impervious to psychoanalysis.” I’m willing to bet that the man you’re seeing isn’t Irish at all. In all likelihood he’s using that line as a means to manipulate your perception of his emotional accessibility. He understands that your background in psychology will automatically cause you to see his psychological “barriers” as a personal challenge. He assumes you will feel obligated to prove him wrong, to discover what lies beneath, which, in his mind, will increase his chances for sex, a relationship, or both. It’s very possible he’s using clumsy psychology to trick you into believing he, for whatever reason, is different than everyone else; that he’s “unavailable.” After all, each of us want what we can’t/don’t have. And we’re all intrigued by the mysterious. That said, let it be noted that in the movie, Colin’s sly little comment was ultimately successful. It got him laid.