Dear Jonny, More Questions…
Answer some questions…
What’s your idea of an extremely selfish person?
Someone who has the audacity to thank God for a beautiful, sunny day when tornadoes are wiping out similar people of similar faith who would have much preferred that beautiful, sunny day.
Do you think you would have been able to take Bruce Lee in a fight?
Fuck, followed by no. I can certainly handle myself, but people of my size are typically at a significant disadvantage. Among other things, excessive muscle burns an overabundance of oxygen which leads to premature exhaustion. Raw power is the only advantage I would have over Mr. Lee, which would ultimately pale in comparison to his speed, agility, and skill.
What’s the best movie you’ve seen lately?
The Horde, a 2009 French horror film. It’s a revenge flick turned zombie movie with plenty of extreme violence, originality, and well-layered social commentary. I give it 4.5 out of 5 stars.
What’s the most embarrassing sexual encounter you’ve had?
After a night of far too many Irish Car Bombs, I wound up going home with a coworker who – I found out the next morning – lived in the basement of the house owned by her father, my employer. I awoke to him standing over me with a very nice golf club. Needless to say, I was out of a job.
Would you rather lose your penis or your eye sight?
Haven’t you seen Scent of a Woman?
Do you have any cool Halloween stories?
One time I dressed up as Mike Tyson (boxing shorts, wrapped my hands, painted on his facial tattoo), then, in the midst of a massive party, took 40 Jello shots and attempted to rip the stove out of my brothers’ kitchen.
Do you like Obama?
No more or less than I like any puppet show.
Do you go to church? If not, why? If so, why?
No. My predisposition toward agnosticism aside, church has become nothing more than a “holy” fashion show.
What do you think of Christian apologists?
I think it’s better to make an effort to rationalize your faith. And I think it’s better to listen to critics than ignore them entirely. However, it seems that most Christian apologists use reason as a tool to justify their faith rather than embark on a journey for truth. I think they’re asking questions they believe they already have the answers to.
Why do some people take Facebook so seriously?
Convenient access to an artificial reality allows them to create a persona that provides them the luxury of escaping everything they dislike about who they are and what their lives have become.
What do you think about people who are against the death penalty?
If they’ve lost a loved one to a murderer and remain against it, I absolutely respect their opinion. Otherwise, their perspective is limited.
Do you get into trouble much?
Lately I’ve done a fairly good job of fighting my personal demons and avoiding the pitfalls of trouble. But it’s a constant struggle.
When’s the last time you were truly scared?
Some years ago I mixed a number of supplements that I shouldn’t have, which elevated my pulse to a remarkable degree and brought on a severe panic attack. After hyperventilating for a few minutes I became incapacitated with dizziness and was certain that I was about to die. I managed to call an ambulance but was unable to get in touch with family. I was not so much afraid of death as being unable to say goodbye.
What’s a good way to build up my chest?
Once per week perform incline bench press at roughly 50% of your one rep maximum. Bench until failure. Add five pounds. Once again, bench until failure. Repeat this process until you can no longer perform one rep.
Do you think eye contact is as important as people say?
Eye contact creates the illusion of respect. But consider that in nature, animals seldom look one another in the eye unless they are on the verge of fighting or fucking.