Dear Jonny, Valentine’s Day?

8 Responses

  1. Damien says:

    So we should only give women chocolate in exchange for sex?

  2. Anonymous says:

    That brightened an otherwise shitty day.

  3. Drew says:

    This is strictly hypothetical, but what if a guy gives his girl chocolates and flowers AND a pricey gold necklace AND cooks her an awesome dinner, all on Valentine’s Day, and still doesn’t get sex?

  4. Gypsy Assassin says:

    I’ve been married for almost 14 years. For 14 years, I’ve told my husband that I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. Yet again, he refused to listen and brought me home the usual obligatory crap. How should I have responded to a half wilted dump heap of a flower arrangement that was apparently put together by a blind toddler with palsy, a $5 bottle of California “champagne”, and a 30 count box of stale cupcakes adorned with plastic jewelry intended for preschool children from SAM’S club? Just curious if my response was appropriate…

    • Jon says:

      Of course it’s appropriate. If, for 14 years, you’ve told him that you want nothing, then what you should have received is A) Nothing, or B) Something a little less conventional than dime store versions of typical shit a.k.a. a genuine, thoughtful surprise. Next Valentine’s Day you should give him some sort of penis enlarging device. That association will never leave his consciousness, which means he’ll probably never again buy you shit you don’t want on a day that, in reality, is no different than the other 364.

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