Dear Jonny, Wanna Fight?
I used to come into that club you bounced at. You and those other bouncers were fucking dicks. How would you feel about fighting and putting the video on your website? You’re bigger than me but probably not any stronger. I think there’s a good chance I could knock you out, or at least get you to submit. What do you say?
If you regularly entered that club you were almost certainly an obese, chain-smoking drunk or a meth-head. Possibly all three. Once an obese, drunken, chain-smoking meth-head, always an obese, drunken, chain-smoking meth-head. Understand? How can I possibly consider this a legitimate challenge? Unless, of course, you’ve somehow reformed into a vengeful Rambo-like karate master, out to punish bouncers who were fucking dicks. That’s cool. It kind of makes you a super hero, right? I like super heroes. So send me a picture of yourself, and, if my readers decide that you’re a worthy opponent, we’ll set something up; perhaps we could broadcast it live? I look forward to you knocking me out.