Dear Jonny, Whoring Around?
I have been in a committed relationship for over a year and a half. The girl is cool, she is sort of stupid, but she’s nice and the sex is great. The problem is that I still look at other women CONSTANTLY and want to fuck them, the hot ones anyway. Should I dump my girlfriend and go nuts or is whoring around, although fun, ultimately pointless? Let me know.
– Paul E. Ghamy
Dear Paul E. Ghamy,
First of all, you should never feel the slightest vestige of guilt over your inherent desire to look at/want to jump the bones of other women. Men aren’t wired with monogamous eyes, and statistics say that, on a long enough timeline, it’s damn near impossible to pull off a truly successful committed relationship. Ultimately, the primary reason for engaging in an exclusive relationship with anyone is to work toward forming a life partnership. If you don’t see yourself as wanting that with your current girlfriend, then it’s pretty safe to say that you’re with her only because A) She’s nice, and B) She’s good in bed. But when you think about it, those are damn solid reasons to be with a girl, even if she is short on brains. For instance, it’s much better than: Smart, mean, and shitty in bed. It’s better than dumb, mean, and good in bed. It’s better than nice, smart, and terrible in the sack. And so on. In many ways, you’ve hit the jackpot. That said, because she is a nice person I would certainly dump her before engaging in whoring behavior, if that should be the route you decide upon. As for whether or not “whoring” is pointless, no – I don’t think it is – if the person in question is warmly inclined toward protected sex with multiple partners. We all have different needs, and the driving force behind those needs is endlessly complicated. People are fucking complicated. And some people just want to fuck.