Dear Jonny, Your Mother And Father?
What is your relationship like with your father versus your mother?
Well, this is a touchy subject. To be frank, I have a much more complicated relationship with my father, which stems from the fact that between the ages of six and sixteen, he regularly locked me in a small, musty compartment beneath the stairs. It was pitch black and very hard to breathe, but if I kept absolutely quiet and breathed shallowly to conserve oxygen, things weren’t so awful once I acclimated to the poisonous spiders, rabid rats, and moldy pancakes he shoved under the door twice a week. Just kidding. In truth, I have considerably more in common with my father (arrogance, stubbornness, narcissism, anti-authoritarianism, manic-depression, etc.), so we’ve inevitably tangled horns for much of my life. Growing old has knocked him down a few notches, so we mostly get along these days. That said, I still know – better than anyone – how to push his buttons, which I do, time-to-time, in order to keep him on his toes and entertain myself and my younger brothers. My Mom is pretty much the kindest, sweetest, most easygoing woman on planet earth, so it’s hard not to get along with her, no matter how hard you try (I tried). We’ve almost always meshed well most of the time, even when I was being foolish or crazy or both, which, in retrospect, was (is) often. Ultimately, the relationships are night and day – well-balanced.