Crazy Bitch: Entry Five
An insane ex-girlfriend. A journal found. Published here and dissected by Jon for your enjoyment. Welcome back, friends, to “Diary Of A Crazy Bitch.”
October 18 –
“Last night at work I was in a bad mood. I came in half an hour late and the new manager gave me shit, the fat fucking prick. So I went right to the bathroom and railed three lines of coke before stealing a bottle of Wild Turkey from the bar. I went back in the bathroom and sat in a stall for a while and drank and did another line. Then I took out a clothespin and stabbed at my arms for a few minutes, until that new girl Charlene came in and started pacing around. I could hear her talking on her cell about how nervous she was with her upcoming routine. She sounded like she was about to cry and that made me feel a little better. I drank some more and did another couple of lines while she yapped about how she’s been having suicidal thoughts and other stupid bullshit. Then she actually started to cry and that made me anxious to see her fuck up and oh how she did. Ugh. The pathetic, whiny bitch. From the looks of things it’s hard to believe she’s ever even SEEN a stripper pole. Halfway through her song she slipped right off the pole and fell flat on her face in front of thirty or more customers. Many of them were laughing and she started bawling her eyes out and slapping herself. Then she grabbed her purse and ran to her car – topless – and took off down the highway, driving crazily. That really turned me on. I hope the weak little cunt actually does kill herself though. The rest of my night was great. I made $325 bucks in tips.”
– Here we have a macabre portrait of an icy woman wholly devoid of accountability, compassion, and a conscience. In her mind, being scolded for showing up late to work completely justifies theft from her employer, as well as a drug and alcohol binge, coupled with casual self-mutilation, while on the clock in a strip club bathroom. Sensing weakness in a defeated coworker instills her with a renewed sense of vigor for life. In her mind, the unfortunate girl’s pain, tragedy, and suffering are sources of both entertainment and joy. Watching the girl publicly humiliate herself in the throes of absolute desperation, provides her with emotional, psychological, and sexual gratification. As does the knowledge that she later secured a tidy sum from the same customers who, earlier that night, laughed the poor girl out of the establishment. But what she’s REALLY after is the knowledge that the girl kept true to her word, to take her own life – which, most of all, will leave the crazy bitch feeling victorious.