Crazy Bitch: Entry Six
An insane ex-girlfriend. A journal found. Published here and dissected by Jon for your enjoyment. Welcome back, friends, to “Diary Of A Crazy Bitch.”
November 12 –
“I finally had dinner with my family last night, the fucking psychos. On the way over I emptied a pint of Wild Turkey while listening to Rage Against the Machine. Then I parked next to Daddy’s new Camaro and snorted a few lines before going inside. Mom was in the kitchen tending to her mystery meat and complaining about Chris’s (Jon’s note: her 20 year old brother) latest drug charge. As usual she looked like shit and Daddy’s disabled ass must be off the wagon AGAIN because both her eyes are bruised up. Again. Somehow mom switched the subject to how much she thinks I’m embarrassing the family with my “white trash” exotic dancing career. I told the sorry BITCH that her face is the real embarrassment. She slapped me. So I ripped out a handful of her hair and spit in her face, the jealous cunt. Daddy broke it up before I could do any real damage. After that I went to the bathroom and did another line or two. Then I poked at my arm with a clothespin until I heard Sammy (Jon’s note: her 13 year old sister) call everyone to dinner. The meatloaf was rock hard and everything else was either burned or tasted like shit. Business as usual. Mom got into it with Sammy because her trashy little boyfriend has been sneaking through her bedroom window on Friday nights, and Sammy thinks she’s pregnant. The little WHORE. Halfway through dinner Chris said that he didn’t have rent money for Daddy because he lost his last unemployment check at the casino. Daddy’s drink must have been more whiskey than Coke, because he immediately threw the salt shaker at Chris. For once his aim was good and it shattered against Chris’s head. The pathetic pussy fell on the floor and was bleeding everywhere and hollering about how he’ll kill Daddy the first chance he gets. Ha, right. Mom was crying and screaming that high pitched scream, so I yelled “I fucking hate all of you,” and ran to my car. I have no memory of getting home but when I got there I downed another pint of Wild Turkey and did lines until my heart was about to explode. I really wish all those fucking losers would just DIE.”
– Here we have a woefully tragic, albeit darkly amusing, portrait of the utterly despicable family behind the crazy bitch. Reading this entry gives one the distinct impression that she is hopelessly doomed by both nature and nurture, though, on a personal level, her absolute lack of empathy and compassion for her own blood (“disabled ass,” “sorry BITCH,” “little WHORE,” “pathetic pussy,” etc), coupled with a laughably ironic – if not downright delusional – sense of superiority (“psychos,” “jealous,” “trashy,” “losers,” etc) leads me to discard any sense of sympathy I might otherwise have had for the sheer bleakness of her situation. Coked-up, whiskey-drunk, and raging to Rage Against the Machine, is not the way to approach an alarmingly unstable family on dangerously volatile terms. She is certainly bright enough to realize this, which suggests that she does in fact revel in hatred, violence, chaos, and misery – both her family’s and her own. She harnesses those things to satisfy her deep-seated sadomasochistic perversions. She uses them to perpetuate a life of unprovoked abuse, flagrant self-destruction, and complete lack of accountability. She unapologetically thrives on unhappiness because it allows her to continue upon her wayward path without questioning the nature of her actions. And that’s fucked up.