Dear Jonny, Shitty French Movies…
My girlfriend has gotten big into shitty French movies. I hate every one we’ve seen so far, so she agreed that I could pick the next few (French) films. Do you have any suggestions?
In my experience, many women gravitate toward French movies in which various characters somehow find themselves embarking on weird, self-indulgent coming of age journeys to unleash their hidden reservoirs of repressed sexuality; artsy-fartsy pornos in poor disguise. With a few minor variations, that’s the basic formula for approximately 75% of the French films I’ve seen, and I’ve seen a lot of them. That said, there are a number of bloody gems out there, chock-full of dark, interesting, ultra-shocking shit. Some of them are clever. And a few are downright smart. Here are four such movies: Martyrs, Frontier(s), High Tension, and Inside. Between those titles you’ll find everything from neo-nazi cannibals to a mass murdering Tyler Durden. And much, much worse. In fact, a back-to-back viewing of Martyrs and Inside will probably send your girlfriend screaming into the night, never again able to eat a french fry, let alone put you through another French flick about some young, annoying narcissist who sleeps with half of France just so the audience can appreciate the link between art and blooming sexuality…And that’s a win-win.