Twilight Isn’t Bright: 10 Reasons Why Edward Sucks

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6 Responses

  1. Gassan says:

    Hey bro, mostly agree, but…

    #2 Vampires can’t get jacked if they got turned when they happened to be anorexic weak faggots. They will stay that forever. Their bodies don’t change and shit.

    #3 Well, I believe it is just one of the ‘features of vampires’ in the book. Let’s face it since vampires don’t really exist any writer can tweak the rules.

    #7 Edward and his brothers and sisters go to school, cuz … well .. that’s what normal 17 years olds are supposed to do. They all tried to fit in the society, so they went to school and then college, but then had to move on to another location since they don’t get old and start over.

    I see you got hots for Jacob? :D

    • Jon says:

      #2) I am not aware of any rule which states that a vampire lacks the intrinsic ability to” buff up.”
      #3) I understand that “tweaking the features” is a part of the process of keeping things interesting. In ” The Lost Boys”, the head vampire is impervious to both holy water and garlic. In “True Blood”, vampires feed upon artificial blood. And that’s all cool. But glistening in the sunshine ain’t. In fact, it’s almost angelic. And vampires aren’t angels. Edward sucks.
      #7) My point was that Eddie seems anti-social + he has an “old soul”, neither of which characteristics mesh well with the high school experience. He should be far beyond that teenage crap. And a vampire CAN’T “fit in.” That’s the whole point.
      And yes, I have a secret man crush on Jacob.

  2. anton, aka sputnik, aka scammer, aka XOBOT says:

    I dont see a point in discussing this so called saga since its everything that’s fucked with american teenage culture and the thirteen year old chicks that watch and worship these flawed characters will most likely grow up to be those ‘new York sluts’ i.e. Kim Catrall and the gang, Jon is so fond of. Hence, this notion brings me to my next point. Jon’s viewing of this movie is bad enough, he then made another morbid mistake of actually making a post about it on his, what used to be an awesome website until he introduced some teenage garbage into the mix. I believe a stronger point of making, what seems to be a she-male main character in this horrendous chic flick, to make look like less noteworthy would be to not talk about him or the movie whatsoever. Jon I believe you are more creative than that, please dont post any more gay articles as i do have better things to do than to read about pale freaks who look like they just got out of a concentration camp in Krakow

  3. Kipness says:

    #7 is an easy answer. . . . he’s a pederass. That actually qualifies as a super pederass because he’s been alive more than a century and he’s trying to nail high school girls but doesn’t have the balls to nail them at the same time. Make sense? He’s like Wooderson, “that’s what I like about them high school girls. I get older, but they stay the same age.”

  4. Jon says:

    You have a point. He’s pretty fucking stunted for someone who’s been alive for over a century; weak sauce.

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