Tagged: Death

4

Daze Of The Week

MONDAYS are comparable to suddenly having your throat slit by a toothless gutter whore under the influence of the LSD her pimp slipped into her banana split while she gave an El Salvadorian cook...

7

Soror-spit-y Girls

I despise uppity sorority girls who dare to openly scoff at me after I’ve absentmindedly spit upon their shoes as they power walk in overly-perfumed hordes through public parks. In reality, they should be...

4

Steps

This morning I ate a few of the fat, wriggling maggots feeding on the putrefying gash running down my thigh. Their sliminess on my tongue caused me to gag, but as there was nothing...

6

Summer’s End

There is my brain: pink, pulpy, and splattered across the living room wall. That paranoid neighbor of ours no doubt heard the blast. He’s probably dialing 911 this very moment. Before long the police...

7

Infected

It began the day after I stopped taking my medication. At first there was merely a small, inflamed spot on the tip of my nose – like a slightly infected pimple. We’ve all had...

9

9/11: Remember Their Pain

Over the course of the last few days I’ve heard numerous people regurgitate the idea that weighing too heavily on the morbid nature of 9/11 in some way prevents us from moving forward as...

7

Out Of The Depths

On August 12, 2000, a quantity of highly concentrated Hydrogen peroxide leaked from a poorly wielded torpedo, making contact with an unknown amount of rust. The result: Several explosions with the combined equivalent force...

9

A Dark (K)Night

One moment you’re sitting comfortably beside your twenty-something son in a large, crowded movie theater, popcorn and soda in hand, while the two of you peer wondrously at the silver screen as it showcases...

9

The Top Ten Reasons Heat Waves Suck

Lately it’s been hot; oppressively, loathsomely, horridly hot. Abominably hot. Revoltingly hot. Soul-crushingly hot. Fucking hot. That said, there are a multitude of reasons to detest the heat. Here, for instance, are ten of...

2

Dear Jonny, Another Chunk O’ Questions…

Dear Jonny, Answer some (more) questions… – Readers Dear Readers, “I think woman are attracted to “assholes” for an evolutionary reason.My reasoning is that an “asshole” is the type of male who displays above...

5

FLICKERS

A slight, bespectacled man dressed in an unremarkable suit weaved through the darkening city streets, his eyes darting feverishly from shadow to shadow. Pumpkins perched on the windowsills of crumbling high rises, flickering brightly...

10

Dear Jonny, Occupy Wall Street?

Dear Jonny, What do you think of This Occupy Wall Street business? – Shawn   Dear Shawn, I imagine a tall, muscular, well-tanned man dressed in a twelve-thousand-dollar suit. His name is Todd. At...

5

The Alley Remained

It began in the rancid filth of the dank, narrow alleyway two blocks from the brightly lit corner restaurant where she worked the midnight shift. It wasn’t. Then it was. It breathed, but not...