Tagged: Girlfriend

7

Door Matt

While wolfing down gigantic chunks of perfectly charred beef on Saturday afternoon, I overhead a particularly foul-looking woman use her shrill, piercing voice to scream the following into her cell phone, after casually sipping...

9

The Top Ten Reasons Heat Waves Suck

Lately it’s been hot; oppressively, loathsomely, horridly hot. Abominably hot. Revoltingly hot. Soul-crushingly hot. Fucking hot. That said, there are a multitude of reasons to detest the heat. Here, for instance, are ten of...

7

Dear Jonny, We Demand Answers…

Dear Jonny, Answer some (more) questions… – Readers Dear Readers, “I know this reeks of cliche but my asshole neighbor is constantly walking his hulking German Shepherd on my front lawn, where it never...

4

Crazy Bitch: Entry Four

An insane ex-girlfriend. A journal found. Published here and dissected by Jon for your enjoyment. Welcome back, friends, to “Diary Of A Crazy Bitch.” October 9 – “Still drunk this morning. Last night at...

10

Scum Whore Of London

While snagging some coffee this morning, I bumped into a rather attractive dunce of an ex-girlfriend who informed me that she is now a licensed hypnotherapist specializing in “past life regressions.” This is a...

6

Dear Jonny, I Need Revenge…

Dear Jonny, I recently found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me for quite some time. She doesn’t know that I know. I want revenge. Just so you know, I have access...

4

Dear Jonny, Fucking Upsetting Girlfriend…

Dear Jonny, My girlfriend has been talking a lot about certain ex boyfriends and how much better they were at sex. She does this right after we’ve done the deed, which is kind of...