Back To The Grind

Before hurling myself into the pits of literary hooliganism, I thought it might be helpful to establish what, exactly, my intentions are here. Much of my adult life has been fraught with ill-advised, perilous, colorful, and darkly comical misadventures, generally by virtue of my predisposition for adrenaline, misanthropy, anti-authoritarianism, flagrant self-destruction, and the resulting chaos. I have witnessed and been part of a seemingly immeasureable amount of dicey and outlandish shit over the years – a volatile trajectory that I inevitably revisit on occasion. Those deeply-entrenched personal experiences, coupled with the increasingly disconcerting state of the modern world, flood my mind with ideas. In other words, as a dedicated writer and stubborn survivor with a storied history, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on both my immediate and extended surroundings, as well as my haphazard escapades – past and present.

This website will provide me with a platform on which I can combine my studies in psychology and unique understanding of human nature with humor, sarcasm, irony, and absurdism. That process will allow me to ruthlessly dissect the world at large while simultaneously acknowledging and exploring my own demons. Ultimately, my main objective is to provide snarky, poignant, and insightful social commentary via personal anecdotes and observational humor, which will cover dating, sex, relationships, zombies, apocalyptic yearnings, hipsters, millennials, mental illness, materialism, drugs, alcohol, addiction, social media, reality television, technology, Hollywood, celebrityhood, class conflict, consumer culture, college, sports, dieting, foodie-ism, courage, cowardice, compassion, callousness, callowness, obliviousness, superficiality, egotism, narcissism, alarmism, wilful ignorance, whining, groveling, pandering, aggrandizing, grandstanding, hubris, hate, hope, hopelessness, resilience, entitlement, apathy, stupidity, inanity, vanity, insanity, profanity, uncertainty, insecurity, vulnerability, volatility, gluttony, obesity, hyperbole, and everything else that so aptly defines life in contemporary America. However, should my readers want me to tackle a particular subject – taboo or otherwise – I’m certainly open to suggestions.

It should be noted that I will not apologize in advance, nor at any future point, for being a needlessly discourteous, insensitive, and/or narcissistic prick. If you suffer from fragile feelings, a lack of appreciation for sardonic humor, or basic dimwittedness, it’s probably best for the both of us if you fuck off at this early stage. This place is the unapologetic antithesis of a sanctuary for the easily offended.

That having been said, I fully intend to give this endeavor my all. Barring death, I will not cease my literary efforts here until www.shutupandlistentojon.com becomes a household name. Thanks for reading. It’s good to be back.

9 Responses

  1. SubUrban Legend says:

    Brilliant. Write!!!!

  2. Ryan B. says:

    Hear, hear! The world desperately needs you, Jonny. Welcome back, sir.

  3. Ruston says:

    Even more polished but losing none of your acerbic wit.

    • Hell Yes says:

      I hope you’ll stick around because I’ve missed the shit out of your stuff. I also need dating advice pretty badly so I’d love to see some articles on that topic.

  4. Arron says:

    I hate when someone says that living life is ill.advised. its like.a genius who.hates themselves. It’s not just bad because it’s cliche. Do you ever wonder if the reason extreme intellugence isn’t passed on is because they didn’t face the same stressors? Who can fault someone for being a good person though? It’s good to see you’re thriving tjough. I honestly mean that.

    Motherfucker your verification doesnt work. 2× negative one times negative one is two. I appreciate the need to curb bots, just as I appreciate the fact youre gonna know I did that to poke fun at you. What you gonna do about it?

    • Arron says:

      Intelligence* I swear auto correct automatically switches to dumb shit based on previous dumb shit.. I also meant though instead of tnoujh. But go ahead and try to demean me because of my drunk spelling.

    • Jon says:

      Hey there, Arron.

      I never said that living life is ill-advised. I said that a significant portion of the choices I’ve made over the course of my lifetime were ill-advised. In other words, it’s ultimately about the myriad of repercussions I experienced by virtue of my frequently piss-poor decisions — which were a result of my hubristic predisposition and a false sense of invulnerablity. Call it a cliche or whatever else you like, but it’s simply the truth.

      “Do you ever wonder if the reason extreme intellugence isn’t passed on is because they didn’t face the same stressors?” – No, I have never and will never wonder that. It makes no sense whatsoever.

      “It’s good to see you’re thriving tjough. I honestly mean that.” – Gracias. I’m making it, one day at a time.

      “Motherfucker your verification doesnt work. 2× negative one times negative one is two. I appreciate the need to curb bots, just as I appreciate the fact youre gonna know I did that to poke fun at you. What you gonna do about it?” — Since I’ve received no other similar reports thus far, I suspect that the problem lies in your inability to perform the verification properly because you’ve been drinking, not with the verification system itself. And feel free to poke fun at me. I’ve come to deeply enjoy snarky criticism. I certainly deserve it.

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