LISTEN TO JON

11. Fat Zombie Bikers[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/FatZombieBikers.mp3|titles=FatZombieBikers]


10. The Top Ten Things To Say To Scare The Shit Out Of Your New Girlfriend[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/TopTenGirlfriend.mp3|titles=TheTopTenThingsToSayToScareTheShitOutOfYourNewGirlfriend]


9. Breaking News: Second Report[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Memo.mp3|titles=Breaking News: Second Report]


8. Breaking News[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/BreakingNews.mp3|titles=BreakingNews]


7. Top Ten Pickup Lines That Won’t Work[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/TopTenPickupLinesThatWontWork.mp3|titles=TopTenPickupLinesThatWon’tWork]


6. Ten Sorts Of Random People Whom I Hate[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/TopTenPeopleIHate.mp3|titles=TopTenPeopleIHate]


5. God Is A Cold Duck[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/GodIsAColdDuck.mp3|titles=GodIsAColdDuck]


4. Bloody Dishes[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/BloodyDishes.mp3|titles=BloodyDishes]


3. The Marlboro Hypothesis[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/TheMarlboroHypothesis.mp3|titles=TheMarlboroHypothesis]


2. Twilight In Sixty Seconds[audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/FuckTwilight.mp3|titles=FuckTwilight]


1. Top Ten Things A Man Can Say To Immediately End His Relationship  [audio:https://www.shutupandlistentojon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/TopTenThingsAManCanSayToImmediatelyEndHisRelationship2.mp3|titles=TopTenThingsAManCanSayToImmediatelyEndHisRelationship]





19 Responses

  1. Andy says:

    LOL and what a great voice. You need radio time, sir.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Yes, I see a talk show in your future.

  3. Miss Anthropy says:

    You sexy beast.

  4. benjamin johnson says:

    That’s good stuff keep it comng

  5. Philip says:

    You are a straight up fucking genius.

  6. Nathan says:

    I’m loving the audio.

  7. J. P. says:

    That “Bloody Dishes” is a tough listen but it most definitely puts things in perspective. It’s easy to forget how incredibly lucky most of us are. Brilliant site, man. Happy Thanksgiving.

  8. brandy says:

    You’re a brilliant stud with a SEXY voice!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Gold.

  10. Suburban Legend says:

    You’re headed for big things, chief

  11. Anonymous says:

    This is FUCKING AWESOME

  12. Anonymous says:

    You’re funnier and smarter than hell. But you’re also fucking nuts, mate!

  13. Mark says:

    Yeah, you DEFINITELY need to be on the radio.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Yes! hahaha Can’t believe I missed this section!!

  15. aaron shelton says:

    You’re one imaginative bastard.

  16. April Johnson says:

    “Like a translucent sacks of spoiled ham jelly” – As brilliant as it is repulsive. You are wonderfully sick.

  17. chris says:

    Absurdist humor at its finest.

  18. Jason says:

    Dude you think you’re like Hunter Thompson or somebody? I laughed at a couple of those, but it’s just like you threw together a bunch of scary sounding combinations of nouns to create screwed up ideology for shock value. Come off it, you stole your entire style from Hunter. And you don’t do him justice either.

    • Jon says:

      Less than a week ago, some ignorant fool accused me of stealing Hemingway’s style without providing the slightest vestige of a rational explanation. I chuckled then as I chuckle now. That said, you clearly have no understanding of surreal humor (see: the majority of my audio pieces). Nor do you seem to “get” the ironic nature of this website in general, which, in my experience, isn’t uncommon among those of a lesser intellect. Also, I think you need to read more of Thompson’s work; something other than Fear and Loathing. The parallel you drew is cute, but it has no basis in fact. He was a great writer who touched on many things with a distinctive style. I am a great writer who occasionally touches on some of the same things with an equally distinctive style, with which I sometimes give him a nod in tribute. That’s about it. If you’re going to take the time to criticize my work, why not also take a moment to conjure up some valid points to back your argument(s)? The answer: You can’t, kiddo. Stick to trolling on Facebook.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.